So I went to see a psychic the other day, the point of it was to try and get some answers or at least be pointed in some sort of direction! A few weeks ago my "fiance" (and I use the term loosely) went on a disappearing act and after 2 weeks of barely no contact he ended things. Needless to say I went in a bit of a mess, the usual drinking too much, calling him every name I could think of and ensuring that everyone I knew hated him as much as I did. Pretty standard stuff I think! But a few days after that he called and said he had made s terrible mistake... After I picked myself up from the floor (having never experienced this behaviour from a man before) I agreed to hear him out and he said all the right things and I agreed to give it another try s.l.o.w.l.y. So the opportunity to see this psychic came up and I thoughty what the fuck let's give it a go and get some direction.
As everyone knows it's hard to know if a psychic is legit or not because there must be so many out there that are basically full of bollocks (your aura is green, now pay me £35 etc) but I went in thinking that if she laughs in my face and tells me what a horrible mess I've made of my life I would pretty much know that she knew what she was talking about. However she did none of these things, and whereas a couple of things were on the mark I think the most of it was pretty crap. In fact I think it's a bad sign when so many things are incorrect you feel bad and start giving little snippets just so they get something right for a change. So incidentally when she gathered that I had a "broken engagement" (so dramatic) it was hard for me to get her to discuss anything else. And the upshot was she told me that basically I had to either take down the walls or look elsewhere. Bollocks! I went in there knowing that! The fact that I build up walls around myself in a self-protection technique is no shock to me, or to my family, or friends, or generally anyone who has ever had the pleasure of meeting me. I am not what you would call the most trusting of persons. But how can you be nowadays? I am 28, have a young child, no contact with the father and have a string of failed reltionships behind me. I think it would be hard to find someone in my situation who finds it easy to trust people on first sight.
So anyway I think the psychic thing was pretty pants. But at least I had the pleasure of paying for the hour's experience and then listening to my friend on the way home who's experience was far more worth the money than mine was. Maybe the walls aren't just for the boys... I guess psychics have hard times climbing over them as well. So still no direction, and still pretty much stuck in a limbo siutuation with a boy who says all the right things but doesn't back them up with a hell of a lot of action. OK maybe that applies to a high percentage of men out there but after 3 years of hassle with the same boy I guess I expect more. Anyway will keep writing until I can figure things out.